An Important Life Lesson

Confession. I didn’t always feel comfortable in my role as a therapist. I am sure this is the same for a lot of people in different professions and roles. But for me it felt agonising. A huge amount of work and effort went into getting accepted into my Master’s programme and then once in it I felt sometimes like I wanted to run a million miles away.

For me the problem was that I had this idea of what a psychologist was, how a psychologist looked and acted, and I thought I needed to fit in with this idea. The stresses and strains of being in an academic environment didn’t help matters. University always felt like a rigid and highly conformist structure, this ivory tower that dictated how one should be based how others had been for centuries. There was always one or two lecturers who believed in freedom and encouraged individualistic expression but the vast majority did things by the book.

If I had followed their lead I would have believed (which I truly did some of the time) that I needed to speak in a calm, low voice in order to be a real psychologist. A real psychologist wore clothes that were never too dramatic. A real psychologist’s hair was always pulled back in a conservative bun. Although these are all incredibly superficial markers of a “good therapist type”, they represented something more than that. The feeling I had was that perhaps it was my personality that was so ill suited to being a therapist.

I am a loud, bubbly, talkative person. Meet me out and about and you would never automatically think I was a therapist. People mostly believe I work in the arts, as an actress or artist or in advertising or something.

All these factors combined made the process of becoming a professional that much more tricky for me. I was constantly being confronted with this sense of being in the wrong place. I worried that I had made all this effort only to discover that I was hopelessly wrong for the role and would have to start from scratch again.

Each time I sat in the room with a client I thought about what other psychologists would say and do, I thought about what my lecturers would say and do, and I thought about how they would scold me for not fitting in with the model of what a therapist should look like.

The worst part about this, is that this really had a negative impact on the work. These intrusive thoughts interfered with my ability to really be present in the moment with clients as I was so busy trying to fit in with an idea of who I should be that I failed to truly listen and engage with what was in front of me. I felt tense and unsure of myself. And I worried constantly whether I was ever truly helping.

I think this is a really good analogy for all anxiety. Our anxiety takes us out of the moment. It pushes thoughts into our minds that call our selves into question. It asks us whether we’re good enough and tells us we’re going to fail. But fail at what?

My lesson was this. I learned, through my own process of self-discovery along with others’ guidance, that the only thing there is to be is yourself. There is actually no “model” for what makes someone a good therapist. Just like there is no model for what makes someone a good human. We all have to figure ourselves out in our own ways. But don’t think for one minute that you will ever arrive at a fixed point of completion. Because just when you think you know yourself, something else will come along that will test you and challenge you and you will discover another facet, another layer. The journey may go through different stages and you may feel on top of the world one minute and like a piece of dirt the next. The choice is always there, however, to be true to yourself.

And so this was/is my ultimate lesson. I believe there is only one thing each of us can ever do. It’s what drives out the anxiety. It’s what drives out the fear. And it’s what drives out the fake friends and false comrades. BE GENUINE. And if you can’t feel what is your genuine self right now then at least have the intention to reach out in that general direction.

When your thoughts undermine your courage and you question yourself or your role, just try and be yourself. Ask yourself what it is you really think, feel, and believe in. Ask yourself what you want to share with the world, what it is that you think you have to offer, and you will find that there is something there. It might not look or sound like what you expect it should be. But if it’s real then it will matter more than any performance could ever.

I can testify to this. Having now been practicing as a therapist for five years, I can tell you that there is no greater strength than that of being yourself, and there is no greater gift to others. I believe that over and above anything I may say in therapy, over and above any techniques I may use, the greatest gift I give my clients is that they come into contact with someone who is genuine. My determination to be myself, my commitment to be present, to be thoughtful and honest somehow gives them permission to be themselves and to find acceptance.

As Marianne Williamson wrote:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

I think we are all afraid of showing up and showing ourselves. If we expose ourselves for who we really are then we are also exposing our vulnerability and this feels scary and dangerous. I’m not saying it isn’t. I have not become immune to rejections. I do not feel invincible because I am myself. Hiding oneself from the world will keep you safer. But at what cost? The freedom you feel when you are just yourself is more thrilling than you can imagine. And not only that. I truly believe that it improves your “performance”. Ask any top sportsman. It isn’t possible to beat an equally talented opponent without the magic x-factor that comes with self-belief and the truly exquisite feat of tuning out the noise and  being fully present to the current moment. Go on, give it a go!


Showing 134 comments
  • bolivia trek

    I truly appreciate this blog post.Thanks Again. Want more.

  • 由全球生長因子與胜肽韓國廠商CAREGEN研發,利用美國專利「KP7-4胜肽技術」,獨特滲透配方提供高穩定、高滲透、高效能的胜髮環境,模擬人體生髮機制,目的使頭皮、毛囊恢復健康及作用活性,重啟生髮系統。DR CYJ髮胜肽療程的治療原理為 利用複合活性成分配方恢復毛髮平衡, 根據生態生物工程原理研發, 關鍵胜肽名為KP7-4,結合了七種專利胜肽, 實驗證明能有效模擬「人體胜髮因子」,掌握育髮四關鍵:毛囊強健、減緩異常落髮、強化髮根、供給毛囊血管營養,模擬毛髮循環機制,同時減緩異常落髮及強化髮根。DR.CYJ髮胜肽不含藥性且無副作用,能有效促進增髮

  • chatbot


  • 鈴鐺線


  • minecraft

    Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you penning this article and the rest of the site is also really good.

  • What’s up to every one, as I am really keen of reading this
    webpage’s post to be updated regularly. It carries pleasant

  • 「 生蛇 」( 醫學名稱是 『帶狀疱疹』Shingles ) 是由水痘病毒引起的疾病。水痘癒合後,病毒在神經細胞潛伏多年,日後隨時重新激活後導致的帶狀皮疹,就是「 生蛇 」。因此,凡感染過水痘的人,都有機會「 生蛇 」。病發時,身體某一部位會感到內疼或劇痛,通常是臉或背部及腰部的一側;這時由於病毒從脊髓處沿其中華一條神經擴散到身體以及去到連接的皮膚表面,形成紅疹及小水疱。帶狀疱疹疫苗Zostavax康栢苗 (蛇針)能助減低「 生蛇 」的機會,有效預防: 「 生蛇 」( 帶狀疱疹 ) 成效高達 70% 「 生蛇 」的後遺神經痛:即使紅疹痊癒,神經痛還可以持續數月或數年。年紀越大,持續有後遺 神經痛風險越高 「 生蛇 」引起的急性及長期痛症 不適用人士: 曾對疫苗成分包括明膠( Gelatin ) 及紐奧黴 ( Neomycin ) 有過敏性休克反應的人士 有原發及繼發性免疫系統問題的病患者,或正服用抑鬱免疫系統藥物(如高劑量膽固醇)的病人 患有肺結核,正發病及未經治療人士 孕婦

  • 韓風


  • Baby Foot 寶貝腳 商品一覽 找品牌 以UrCosme指數高至低排序 第1頁 Baby Foot 寶貝腳 化妝品商品一覽,提供 Baby Foot 寶貝腳的產品列表,以UrCosme指數高至低排列,共6件,Baby Foot 寶貝腳的搜尋結果之第1頁

  • 滋潤

    前額整形、額頭整形、自體脂肪移植、額骨柔化、臉面女性化、facial feminization surgery, FFS等一些相關議題、似是而非或有爭議的事項的披露與討論。

  • tinder dating site

    It’s hard to find well-informed people about this
    topic, but you sound like you know what you’re talking about!

  • 醫學美容講座


  • I got this web site from my pal who told me regarding this web page and at
    the moment this time I am visiting this website and reading very informative content
    at this time.

  • The Body Shop 美體小舖 【純淨果香】義大利檸檬唇部滋養霜 Sweet Lemon Lip Butter的商品介紹 The Body Shop 美體小舖,純淨果香,義大利檸檬唇部滋養霜 Sweet Lemon Lip Butter

  • CO2激光(CO2 laser / 二氧化碳激光)的波長是10600nm,照射到皮膚上會被皮膚的水份吸收,瞬間將皮膚有問題的組織氣化。CO2激光可以用來消除各種皮膚問題包括疣、癦、痣、脂溢性角化、粉刺和汗管瘤等。當治療後,您的皮膚需要5至10天時間復原。期間保持傷口清潔便可。優點:CO2激光所切割的深度比刮除術較深,亦較精準。可以處理較深層的皮膚問題,例如去除癦、油脂粒、肉粒、疣、珍珠疣、角質增生等。其復原亦較快,減少留下疤痕的機會。它最大的優點在於,能夠進一步減少激光治療過程當中的熱損傷反應,提升了激光治療的安全性,治療過程中幾乎沒有疼痛感

  • Hey there I am so excited I found your weblog, I really found you by accident,
    while I was looking on Yahoo for something else, Anyhow I am here now and would just like to
    say kudos for a remarkable post and a all round exciting blog (I also love the theme/design), I
    don’t have time to go through it all at the minute but I have book-marked it and also included your
    RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a
    great deal more, Please do keep up the superb work.

  • I am curious to find out what blog system you are utilizing?

    I’m having some minor security problems with my latest website and I’d like to find something more safe.
    Do you have any solutions?

  • 【部落客Bonnie】內開式眼袋淚溝手術,跟黑眼圈眼袋說掰掰 淨妍醫美 淨妍醫美的冷凍減脂 (又稱酷爾塑平、冷凍溶脂)為非侵入性、在體外即能達到減脂的療程。原理為在體外使用低溫探頭,使體內脂肪承受不住低溫而結晶凋亡,達成減脂目的。酷塑冷凍減脂擁有極佳舒適性與幾乎無恢復期的療程特性,且近年來在瘦大腿、瘦手臂、瘦肚子、瘦腰圍與男性女乳症與雙下巴雕塑等方面都有成功案例。冷凍減脂費用請洽淨妍醫美診所

  • whoah this weblog is fantastic i like reading your articles.

    Stay up the great work! You realize, a lot of individuals are looking round for this info, you can aid them greatly.

  • descargar facebook

    With havin so much written content do you ever run into any
    problems of plagorism or copyright violation? My site has a lot of unique content
    I’ve either written myself or outsourced but it appears a lot of it is
    popping it up all over the web without my authorization. Do you know any methods to
    help stop content from being ripped off? I’d definitely appreciate it.

  • quest bars cheap

    You are so interesting! I do not suppose I’ve read through anything like that
    before. So good to discover another person with
    some original thoughts on this subject matter.

    Seriously.. thanks for starting this up. This site is one thing that is required
    on the web, someone with some originality!

  • quest bars cheap

    Quest bars cheap fitnesstipsnew1 quest bars cheap 516999410492780544 quest bars cheap
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I truly appreciate your efforts and I am waiting for your further write ups thank you
    once again. Quest bars cheap fitnesstipsnew1 quest bars cheap
    516999410492780544 quest bars cheap

  • Quest Protein Bars

    Touche. Great arguments. Keep up the great

  • Quest Bars Cheap

    My family all the time say that I am wasting my time here at net, except I know I am getting know-how everyday by reading such fastidious articles.

  • Our scout is a top football expert who attends matches each week searching for the next star. This week he is checking in on Sunderland’s George Honeyman, who netted on Wednesday. Sunderland academy product George Honeyman is a dream winger who can drive forward and create chances

  • This article is in fact a pleasant one it assists new internet viewers, who
    are wishing for blogging.

  • Sling TV

    My brother suggested I may like this website.
    He was entirely right. This post truly made my day.
    You can not consider just how much time I had spent for this info!

  • Sling TV

    Howdy! Quick question that’s completely off
    topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly?

    My web site looks weird when viewing from my iphone.
    I’m trying to find a theme or plugin that might be able to
    fix this issue. If you have any recommendations, please share.
    Appreciate it!

  • Sling TV

    Hi, Neat post. There’s an issue together with your website in web explorer, would test
    this? IE still is the marketplace leader and a huge section of other people will
    leave out your excellent writing due to this problem.

  • Sling TV

    Hi there would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re working
    with? I’m going to start my own blog soon but I’m having a tough time selecting between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.

    The reason I ask is because your layout seems different then most
    blogs and I’m looking for something unique.
    P.S My apologies for getting off-topic but I had to ask!

  • Ahaa, its good conversation concerning this article at this place
    at this web site, I have read all that, so now me also commenting at this place.

  • I’m gone to say to my little brother, that he should also visit this weblog
    on regular basis to take updated from latest information.

  • It was a disappointing afternoon for England’s representatives in the UEFA Youth League as both Arsenal and Liverpool were defeated. Real Madrid 4-1 Liverpool and Arsenal 1-2 Anderlecht: Tuesday’s UEFA Youth League action as it happened

  • descargar facebook

    I’m not sure where you’re getting your information, but good topic.
    I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more.
    Thanks for great information I was looking for this
    information for my mission.

  • Sannypealf

    Nice website!


  • Sannypealf

    Nice posts! 🙂

  • suba me

    UgSIcY Recently, I did not give lots of consideration to leaving feedback on blog web page posts and have positioned comments even considerably less.

  • Muchos Gracias for your article post.Really looking forward to read more. Will read on…

  • next

    A fascinating discussion is worth comment. I believe that you need to write more on this subject matter, it might not be a taboo subject but usually folks don’t speak about these topics. To the next! All the best!!

  • melatonina comprar

    Im thankful for the blog post.Really looking forward to read more. Cool.

  • This is my first time go to see at here and i am in fact impressed to read all at single place.

  • Tattoo Artists

    romance understanding. With online video clip clip

  • Tattoo Shop

    This very blog is definitely cool and also informative. I have picked helluva interesting advices out of it. I ad love to visit it again and again. Thanks!

  • Tattoo Artists

    Some truly fantastic information, Gladiolus I discovered this.

  • govt jobs

    I was suggested this web site by my cousin. I am not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my trouble. You are incredible! Thanks!

  • xem tu vi

    Really appreciate you sharing this blog post.Much thanks again. Great.

  • visit website

    You ave made some good points there. I looked on the internet to find out more about the issue and found most individuals will go along with your views on this website.

  • visit website

    Really enjoyed this blog.Thanks Again. Fantastic.

  • click here

    You have brought up a very good details , thankyou for the post.

  • Muncuntoste

    Choosing a new MaterialThe mobile novels dispensers can be purchased in diverse substances.When you go to look at a the car you need to think if you can afford a brand new one or a used one. [url=]Wholesale NFL Jerseys Cheap[/url].Not only mining industry but also in cases of other important industries such as construction, paper, pharmaceutical or packaging the owners always have an tendency to flout the regulations to fulfill their greed for profit.The MBT footwearThis will let you develop your inner loop with every single step,[url=]Wholesale NFL Jerseys Outlet[/url],MBT Females Footwear, in order that you’ll be able to do bodybuilding at any time. The concept is to draw as many high authority sites linking to your content as conceivable.”The possibilities are endless for U. touristsand a British student, while Israelis have killed at least 250Palestinians, most of whom were alleged assailants. The Skinny Body Care Pay Program is especially developed to serve the people who have never ever been in network advertising before.The raid came following information given by suspects of Jama’atul Mujahideen Bangladesh (JMB) detained in a raid on a house in the country’s central Tangail district, 97 km away from Dhaka,[url=]Wholesale Jerseys China Outlet[/url], earlier in the night. In case of mining industry the rate of diseases like cancer or tuberculosis or other types of lung infections are very common. Natural appetite suppressants are definitely the best means for a new healthy fat loss because this appetite neutralizer is essentially roughage.Security has been tightened in Bangladesh after militants attacked a Spanish cafe in Dhaka’s Gulshan on July 1, which left 22 people, mostly foreigners, dead.Visit my site

  • I truly appreciate this blog article.Really looking forward to read more.

  • to learn more

    much healthier than its been in some time. Manning,

  • This is really interesting, You are a very skilled blogger. I have joined your rss feed and look forward to seeking more of your magnificent post. Also, I have shared your site in my social networks!

  • There is visibly a bundle to realize about this. I feel you made some good points in features also.

  • Houston

    I wanted to thank you for this great read!! I definitely enjoying every little bit of it I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post

  • dau tram be tho

    Your style is so unique compared to other people I ave read stuff from. I appreciate you for posting when you have the opportunity, Guess I will just book mark this web site.

  • this website

    Really superb information can be found on site.

  • smm panel

    Wow, great article.Thanks Again. Awesome.

  • Click to read

    Thanks for sharing, this is a fantastic blog post.Really thank you! Really Cool.

  • Incredible! This blog looks just like my old one! It as on a totally different subject but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Excellent choice of colors!

  • find more info

    There as certainly a great deal to find out about this topic. I really like all of the points you made.

  • visit website

    please visit the internet sites we adhere to, like this one particular, because it represents our picks in the web

  • to read more

    Thanks for another wonderful post. The place else could anybody get that kind of info in such a perfect way of writing? I have a presentation next week, and I am at the search for such information.

  • this website

    Nice blog here! Also your website loads up fast! What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my web site loaded up as fast as yours lol

  • to learn more

    Well along with your permission allow me to grasp your RSS

  • to learn more

    You have remarked very interesting points ! ps decent site. I understand a fury in your words, But not the words. by William Shakespeare.

  • click here

    This website really has all the information and facts I wanted concerning this subject and didn at know who to ask.

  • Hi there mates, how is everything, and what you desire to say regarding this article, in my view its in fact
    amazing designed for me.

  • website

    Really informative blog.Thanks Again. Great.

  • It is really a nice and useful piece of info. IaаАа’б‚Т€ТšаЂаŒаАа’б‚Т€ТžаБТžm glad that you shared this helpful info with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.

  • Terrific Post.thanks for share..much more wait..

  • online

    It as not that I want to replicate your web-site, but I really like the design. Could you tell me which design are you using? Or was it especially designed?

  • click over here now – Very good post. I am experiencing some of these issues as well..

  • W88

    Terrific work! This is the type of info that should be shared around the net. Shame on the search engines for not positioning this post higher! Come on over and visit my site. Thanks =)

  • Pretty! This was a really wonderful article. Thank you for providing these details.

  • I think this is a real great blog.Much thanks again. Great.

  • health tips for men

    I used to be able to find good info from your articles.

  • Mesothelioma

    This is a really good tip especially to those fresh to the blogosphere. Short but very accurate info… Appreciate your sharing this one. A must read post!

  • wow, awesome article.Thanks Again. Keep writing.

  • business voip

    It as enormous that you are getting ideas from this piece of writing as well as from our argument made at this place.

  • forex demo signals

    Woman of Alien Perfect work you might have finished, this site is admittedly awesome with fantastic info. Time is God as way of maintaining everything from happening at once.

  • to learn more

    I truly appreciate this article. Fantastic.

  • Thankyou for this howling post, I am glad I observed this internet site on yahoo.

  • Im obliged for the article post.Much thanks again.

  • in his/her brain that how a user can be aware of it.

  • hotel artemis cast

    I think this is a real great blog post.Much thanks again. Really Cool.

  • tennis site

    After I initially left a comment I appear to have clicked on the -Notify
    me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now
    on every time a comment is added I receive four emails with the same comment.
    Perhaps there is a means you are able to remove me from that service?

  • Wonderful post! We are linking to this great content on our site. Keep up the good writing.

  • Instagram views

    It as hard to find experienced people on this topic, however, you sound like you know what you are talking about! Thanks

  • imdb sam rockwell

    that would be the end of this article. Here you will find some web pages that we think you will enjoy, just click the hyperlinks over

  • Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have truly enjoyed browsing your blog posts. In any case I all be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again very soon!

  • mobile game reviews

    Wow, marvelous blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your web site is magnificent, let alone the content!

  • Airport taxi

    I truly appreciate this post. I ave been looking all over for this! Thank goodness I found it on Bing. You have made my day! Thank you again!

  • Thanks again for the article.Much thanks again. Really Great.

  • Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you writing this post and also the rest of the website is also very good.

  • I similar to Your Write-up about Khmer Karaoke Celebrities

  • Thanks again for the blog post.Much thanks again. Great.

  • univerzitet

    This is a set of words, not an essay. you will be incompetent

  • Normally I do not read article on blogs, but I wish to say that this write-up very forced me to take a look at and do it! Your writing taste has been surprised me. Thank you, quite great article.

  • Grassroots

    So why you dont have your website viewable in mobile format? Won at view anything in my own netbook.

  • status

    Paragraph writing is also a excitement, if you know after that you can write or else it is complicated to write.

  • you can check

    Simply desire to say your article is as surprising.

  • website This is very open with a really clear clarification of the issues. It was really informative. Your website is very helpful. Thanks for sharing!

  • to learn more

    pretty helpful stuff, overall I feel this is well worth a bookmark, thanks

  • I will immediately seize your rss as I can not find your e-mail subscription hyperlink or e-newsletter service. Do you have any? Please permit me realize in order that I may just subscribe. Thanks.

  • bodrum escort

    Nice blog here! Also your site loads up fast! What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my web site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

  • The Lost Ways

    This website was how do you say it? Relevant!! Finally I have found something which helped me. Many thanks!

  • Merely wanna say that this is extremely helpful, Thanks for taking your time to write this.

  • Very informative blog article.Really thank you! Really Cool.

  • dyson v8 absolute

    Im grateful for the blog.Thanks Again. Really Great.

  • It as not that I want to duplicate your web site, but I really like the layout. Could you let me know which theme are you using? Or was it tailor made?

  • Randa

    wow, awesome article post.Much thanks again. Want more.

  • Lesley

    You made some clear points there. I did a search on the topic and found most people will approve with your site.

  • And

    Say, you got a nice article.Much thanks again. Great.

  • Wow! This can be one particular of the most useful blogs We have ever arrive across on this subject. Actually Wonderful. I am also a specialist in this topic so I can understand your effort.

  • visit website

    Really informative blog post.Much thanks again. Keep writing.

  • this website

    Motyvacija kaip tvai galt padti savo vaikams Gimtasis odis

  • Wow! Thank you! I constantly wanted to write on my website something like that. Can I take a portion of your post to my blog?

  • Toronto Limo

    It’а†s in reality a great and helpful piece of information. I am satisfied that you just shared this helpful info with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.

  • Nwokolo

    Thanks again for the blog post.Really looking forward to read more. Great.

  • Watch Movies Free

    Sure this is very open with a really clear explanation of the issues. It was truly informative. Your site is very helpful. Many thanks for sharing!

  • women pooping

    Im obliged for the article post.Thanks Again. Much obliged.

  • Say, you got a nice blog article. Will read on

  • klm discount code

    Thank you, I ave just been looking for info about this subject for ages and yours is the best I ave found out till now. But, what in regards to the conclusion? Are you sure about the supply?

  • Excellent article. I definitely love this site. Keep it up! daily health tips – health inputs –

  • Thanks so much for the article post.Really looking forward to read more. Much obliged.

  • Nollywood movies

    Pretty! This has been an incredibly wonderful post. Many thanks for supplying this information.

  • ebay discount code

    Wow, marvelous blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your web site is fantastic, as well as the content!. Thanks For Your article about &.

  • I value the blog post.Really thank you! Want more.

  • Blocked Drains

    Music started playing anytime I opened up this web-site, so irritating!

  • junk removala

    Looking forward to reading more. Great article. Great.

Contact Us

We're not around right now. But you can send us an email and we'll get back to you, asap.

Not readable? Change text. captcha txt

Start typing and press Enter to search