Question:

“Can the happiness of someone else in your world – say a friend, a relative, or someone else be dependent on you and the situation still be healthy? Like say I have a bro I love dearly and he’s unhappy with life but I’m happy with my life, but maybe we work together, spend a lot of time in each other’s space and he just struggles to be happy with many things. My belief is that it’s not my responsibility however I’m keen to help where I can. Is that the wrong attitude?”

Hmmm, I definitely think it’s not the wrong attitude but that doesn’t mean to say that it isn’t really difficult because if he is unhappy then it will rub off on you and burst your bubble so to speak. And if you really care then you may feel the desire to fix it or make it better somehow. But at the same time we are all responsible for our own happiness and if he’s making you feel bad for being happy in yourself because he’s not, then that’s not right on his behalf. But it’s a shit situation and very difficult to manage. I would suggest the unhappy one needs therapy because then there will be someone else who will be responsible for hearing about his unhappiness. Sometimes people go through bad times and its like all their stuff tends to spill out all over the place and it starts to affect other people in their lives. Therapy helps to provide a container for that “stuff”. Once the person is more contained then they can start to see through the problem and hopefully come to a solution, which means they take back the responsibility and stop projecting it onto those around them. Don’t even try too hard to come up with solutions for him because usually with these kinds of people, there is almost nothing that will work. They aren’t actually going to change, it’s something deep within them that is unhappy and the change needs to come from within. It’s a tough one but don’t let them get ya down! Try and surround yourself with positive people because negative people are like German sausage, the WURST!

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