Self Love At Its Sexiest


You know I’m all about self love, right? I truly believe (and try to practice) that happiness comes from developing a loving, caring relationship with yourself and that manifesting love in your life is an internal process that starts with loving from the inside out.

I have previously on this blog given practical suggestions for igniting the self-love fires and have suggested ways in which you can be kinder and more loving towards yourself. Our relationship with ourselves is our longest and most intimate relationship. Who’s mind and heart do we know better than our own? And who’s needs and wants are we better able to understand?

In fact the more I get into this, the more I realise just how many of my own needs I can meet for myself, and how much of a relief it is to be so self-sufficient. This doesn’t mean to say that we don’t need others in relationship to us. As human beings, our need to be in relationship is definitely one of our defining characteristics. And of course, this includes our need for physical touch and sex.

As someone who likes to write about sex and feminism, I think its important to promote the idea that we all (including women) have sexual needs. I think acknowledging this is the same as saying we need food and shelter. It might as well be a basic human need. The reason it’s not is that we can survive without. So does this mean that sex should only be explored in a relationship? No!

Just like with every aspect of a relationship, when you don’t have someone in your life (or even if you do)  you can still experience love, intimacy, connection and sexy times with yourself. Just like taking yourself out on a date or treating yourself with kindness and compassion, part of self love is also about loving yourself physically and yes that includes masturbation!

I don’t think I have spoken about masturbation here before and I have to be honest, I wasn’t planning to anytime soon but I was contacted by Carvaka Sex Toys and asked to share something they created.

When you think of masturbation these days, the world of vibrators and sex toys comes to mind almost immediately. I think it’s fantastic that vibrators are becoming increasingly normalised in our culture. I think it is important that women of all ages are reminded that they have sexual needs. If you’ve seen the last season of Grace and Frankie, you’ll know that even those delightful 70 year olds are talking about vibrators and masturbation!

In an adorable and hilarious episode, Grace discovers the joys of a vibrator for the first time. She may be a fictional character but I am pretty sure that she is not the only one that still needs to have her Self Love Sexual Awakening.


I know how hard it is to practice self love. It takes dedication and practice. But one thing that shouldn’t get in the way is a lack of knowledge, specifically when it comes to something like vibrators that can be bought online as easily as 1, 2, 3.

Below is the infographic supplied by Carvaka Sex Toys which they have created for people who are new to the vibrator world. This image and the accompanying ‘How to Use Your Vibrator‘ guide is for those people who find themselves a little lost yet might be unwilling to ask for help. The guide is to help people to get the most from their vibrator.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading both the infographic and the guide because I learned things I didn’t know and it was written in an easy and non-threatening way.

My favourite aspect of the guide is the first section titled “Setting the Scene”. It reminded me that this should be a sensual experience and that there really is a loving aspect to masturbation. We are sensual creatures so remember to connect with all the senses by lighting fragrant candles, putting on relaxing or fun music, and getting in tune with your body.

Carvaka IG How to Use A Vibrator

Infographic provided by Carvaka Sex Toys

Image from Netflix

Contact Us

We're not around right now. But you can send us an email and we'll get back to you, asap.

Not readable? Change text. captcha txt

Start typing and press Enter to search