What makes you a great girlfriend?
Jess: Low maintenance, 100% loyal, objective in tricky situations, hopeless romantic. I believe in growing in love, and stay away from getting in too deep unless it happens naturally. We gotta be best friends, otherwise what’s the point?
Alexa: I am pretty easy going, adventurous and I love food and cooking food. I am also a very nurturing person. Oh shit, I am my boyfriend’s mother…
What makes you a crap girlfriend?
Jess: Don’t let me go hungry – I’m super grouchy without food and I will be a bitch to you. No tolerance for certain things, and I take a very, very long time to trust.
Alexa: I can be pretty selfish sometimes and I expect my boyfriend to know what I am thinking because I hate confrontation and I hate talking about emotions and feelings.
What is your biggest relationship regret?
Jess: Not saying “I love you” for fear of rejection; finding out too late that he felt the same.
Alexa: I don’t really have much regret. If I hadn’t made ‘mistakes’ in my past, I wouldn’t have met the guy I am with now.
What is the hardest part about being in a relationship for you?
Jess: I’m very busy, focused on my career, and often struggle to balance life and love. I want the same from him: be 100% dedicated, without demanding too much.
Alexa: I sometimes feel like I am taken for granted. Which is probably my own fault for being so nurturing.
What is your sex spirit animal?
Jess: I don’t even know what that means. Do horses count?
Alexa: Is it dolphins who have sex for pleasure? And the pig who has like an hour-long orgasm?
Are you comfortable talking about sex around your friends? At which point in the conversation does it become cringey?
Jess: Yeah, the more detailed the better! It gets awkward when people get into intimate details about mutual friends. I don’t wanna know your masturbating techniques.
Alexa: I am pretty comfortable. When I was younger and it was all new to myself and friends, they always seek my advice. I am pretty open but I hate it when girls take it too far and go too graphic, and this part is very rude but I hate it when fat people talk about sex, it always makes me feel a bit sick.
Do you give your friends advice? Which topic(s) do you feel comfortable with? (Love/Sex/Money/Drugs/Music)
Jess: All except money. Don’t take money advice from me.
Alexa: Probably only sex and drugs. My friends’ music knowledge is better than mine, I find people confuse love and infatuation/ a crush so I tend to avoid that subject because I know I will end up getting angry, drugs is easy- just don’t do it and money, well… I am currently doing a medical trial to pay off an overdraft.
Do you think there is value in seeing a therapist and why?
Jess: I never thought about it until I read an interview with Diane Kruger, who was like, “It’s funny: in Paris, people don’t talk about therapy. But in the US everybody talks about it. Therapy’s not about getting help; it’s facilitating yourself to deal better with life.” I agree, but I won’t pay for anything I could potentially learn through the Internet.
Alexa: It helps some people I guess. I probably wouldn’t. I don’t like talking to people; I prefer to write my feelings down. I then review it at a later stage and see if I have actively done anything to help change the way I feel.
How do you think you’ve grown emotionally over the last 10 years?
Jess: I’ve learnt not to take shit from people who try and talk shit. I’m way, way less naive, and I am very clear on what I do/do not want in life and love (probably often to my detriment).
Alexa: I have probably become more open to possibility, but don’t tend to let people in too quickly. There are only a handful of people who are truly close to my heart.
Which emotions scare you the most and why?
Jess: Is boredom an emotion, or a state of being? I’m scared of being bored and running to more exciting pastures.
Alexa: I feel pretty lonely sometimes even though I work with great people, live with my boyfriend and have good friends. It scares me being lonely, especially because if I feel lonely sometimes at this stage of my life, I would hate to be a bitter old granny with no one.