What Do You Know About Falling In Love?
I’ve started this daily routine of watching a Ted Talk while I eat my breakfast. I like the fact that they’re mostly around 2o minutes, which feels like the perfect amount of time to spend in front of a screen so early in the day. I like to think of this as my daily dose of informative and enriching content, hopefully off-setting the many hours of endless (and mindless) scrolling through social media sites.
So if you’re wondering why I’ve been sharing so many videos lately, now you know! I’m pretty late to the Ted Talk party actually, seeing as though most of my friends were into Ted around 3 years ago. I am kinda bad at the internet!
Anyway, I don’t care. It’s a frikkin miracle that I have a blog and I have some capacity for understanding the ins and outs of this, so I’m pretty stoked to now have good ol’ Ted to keep me company in the mornings.
The latest talk I watched was this one, which features Mandy Len Catron who is the author of that pretty famous New York Times article titled “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This“. She wrote about this experiment where researchers put strangers together and have them ask each other 36 increasingly personal questions and then stare into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes. The experiment was designed to improve friendships but had a surprising consequence: some of the participants fell in love and started romantic relationships.
Her article was made all the more interesting because she had tried replicating the study with someone she knew, and surprise, they fell in love! Very understandably, people all over the world were fascinated by this and were very interested to know whether she was still together with this guy. The question turned from “did you really fall in love?” to “Is it the real, special, lasting love?”. And that is what her talk addresses.
I actually had an experience with this article earlier this year when I was asked to complete the 36 questions by a guy I had just met. It was a weird experience because it really does engender a very unnatural amount of intimacy between relative strangers. Needless to say, we did not fall in love. It was more awkward than anything else. After that experience, I do not believe any less in the utility of the questions but I do feel that you need to want to fall in love with the person and it is actually a great tool for couples to use to strengthen their bond.
Have you tried the 36 questions with someone before? Would you like to share your experience? I would love to hear from you how the experience was and whether you fell in love or what happened afterward?
Please leave a comment here or use the Ask Me Anything page <3