Advice on booze, sex and excess


How much booze is too much booze? How much sex is too much sex? Who decides what’s ‘normal’ and ‘abnormal’?

Too much booze? That’s a difficult question to answer because for each person it’s different. Alcohol is the only legal drug. This is a dangerous thing because of access; it’s just so easy to get a hold of. And the kind of peer pressure you get with alcohol is heavily disguised by social convention. In this way, a friend insisting that you have a shot of tequila is usually perceived to be a sign that he/she really likes you or cares about you and not as a hostile or offensive act. So really the key here is about self-control. YOU have to learn for yourself what your limit is and then make the effort to state that clearly to your friends. And to yourself. The problem with this is that drinking is just so much fun. And to that end, so is getting proper whitegirldrunk from time to time. So I guess it’s got to come down to consequences. If your drinking has landed you in seriously compromising situations that you are not comfortable with then that’s probably a good warning sign. For example, waking up next to a minger whose name you can’t remember might be the first clue that your fun drinking self needs to be reined in a bit. Otherwise, let your friends decide. If they start to tell you that your drinking has got out of hand, listen. Also the legal system can do the trick. If you are fined or put in jail for drinking-related behaviours (be it for a DUI or peeing against a tree) that’s usually a good indication of whether you’ve crossed the line.

Too much sex? I would say that too much sex can only be established in two ways. Either your partner indicates that it’s too much for him/her (whether this is objectively true or not doesn’t matter, it’s just a respect thing). Or it’s too much if your body parts start to hurt.

Deciding on what’s normal or abnormal? Well, that’s a contentious issue. Psychologists and the field of psychology would have you believe that “we” are the purveyors of normality. There are studies. These produce correlational data. Averages and mean scores are calculated. But I for one do not wish to have my life or mind described as ‘average’ or ‘normal’. Anyone who knows anything will tell you that all great art – anything to do with innovation and creativity – is produced on the fringes. So rather than telling you what is normal or abnormal I would hope that when evaluating your behaviour all you ask yourself is: Are my actions doing harm, either directly or indirectly, to another being? If the answer is yes, then stop. Seek help. Phone a friend. Give peace a chance. If you wanna get fucky with shit and experiment with all sorts of weirdness and excess, cool go ahead, just don’t be destructive.

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  • […] began, it seemed like all the questions I got were about sex. You can see some examples here and here. Now don’t get me wrong, I love talking about sex just as much as the next person but I […]

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