I was recently asked:
“Why do we stay in relationships with people who treat us badly?”
I could answer this question in many different ways. I could tell you about how we’re attracted to pathology and how we unconsciously seek out partners who trigger our specific dysfunctions. I could also tell you about the patriarchy and how marriage is a social construct not entirely dissimilar to slavery (for women) and how the legacy of this convention means we’re all under pressure to form partnerships and thus make rash and often poorly informed decisions about who we commit to. I could also tell you about the media’s influence and how there is a over-romanticizing of dramatic and troubled figures in popular culture, which lead to phrases like “everybody loves a bad boy” being chucked about.
As much as I am politically, socially and historically minded, this blog is actually about life from a psychological perspective and my views are meant to offer a unique take on topics because I am also a psychologist by trade. More specifically, I am interested in providing insights into the subjective experiences of everyday events and challenges so as to enlighten you on a personal level. Knowing the theories might be interesting and getting an historical perspective may provide texture but I am interested in connecting with you on a intra-personal (the stuff going on inside your heads and hearts) level.
Therefore, today I want to tell you why I think people stay in bad relationships, from a psychological perspective. I want to share with you how I think it feels to be someone who chooses to stay in “bad” relationships and I want to help you see how to find your way out.
I have summed up my main points in this vlog that you can find on Youtube or Facebook.
Please watch it, leave a comment, and follow me on social media for more!
I hope you enjoy 🙂